I was sitting in the loungeroom with my boyfriend the other day, using him as a lounge chair actually, as I was sharing my idea for a new project. I was loosely hanging from his neck, relaxed and comfortably babbling about my idea and how it might look.
He paused and looked at me the way I look at him when he's in the kitchen (did I tell you he's a chef?) with adoration and curiosity. 'You're really clever, ' he said. I could feel my body clench as the words came from his lips, rejecting the statement before he had even finished it. I sent his pretty compliment sailing straight back into his face, 'Oh no, I'm not. Loads of people have done the same thing...'
I could hear the words I was saying like I was hearing someone else speak. Simultaneously I could feel the sadness in my heart. Not only was one part of me saying, 'I'm not clever', there was another deep part of myself claiming that, in fact, I was dumb. 'My business isn't making any money, I'm still a waitress, I can't be that clever...'
Immediately my heart felt heavy. My body felt heavy. I could have sat there and cried for an hour.
In an instant I had closed off, refusing a gift. Refusing his gift to me. The energy of the moment changed, as the air filled with my negativity and doubt.
Now, this was only two days ago. Even with all that I know, even with all the work I do on my words and my worth... I still allow that negative voice in my head to get carried away.
It was a window into the direct impact of my words on the world around and inside of me.
Every day I sit down with my mindercise booklet and work on my mind. I work on rebuilding those negative neural pathways in my brain with positive, strengthening ones.
It seems I have a lot of work to do.
I'm sure many of you can relate to this experience of self-doubt and negativity. Am I right?
Are you aware of the words you say and think and about yourself?
How they are impacting your action, reaction and response to the world and others??
Are you limiting yourself and your life and your opportunities???
Worth thinking about isn't it?
Psstt... I've got a FREE e-book that helps you take a look at your WORDS + WORTH. Get it here!
IMAGE FROM PINTEREST BY By Javys B.