What Worthy ACTUALLY Feels Like
I used to look at women I admired and think they had no deep self-doubts at all. That they were perfectly confident, able, successful and that I was imperfect, unworthy, flawed and ultimately broken.
After working in this field for a few years and encountering incredible woman after incredible woman… what I’ve learned is…
We all suffer from self-doubt.
Even the ones who appear effortlessly confident and successful.
Dani Shapiro work has appeared in Elle, The New Yorker, The New York Times Book Review. She has taught in the writing programs at Columbia University and NYU. By anyone’s account of she has more than enough evidence to say that she’s a successful writer and yet, here’s what she says about self-doubt in her writing process:
“We all have this voice, I call it our inner sensor. It’s always sitting on our shoulder in some way and it says different things to each of us. It says, ‘You’re stupid,’ or, ‘Someone else did it better,’ or, ‘How dare you?’ What right do you have?’ … The practice is in quieting that voice, not banishing it.
So what does it feel like to feel Worthy, to feel Confident, to finally feel like you’re doing enough, you are enough you have enough? That you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing YOU ARE OKAY JUST THE WAY YOU ARE? Nothing to fix, nothing to prove, nothing more to do?
It feels like moments of bliss. Moments of peace. Moments of ease.
But mostly, it’s an ongoing dialogue with your Inner Critic.
‘You can’t do that! You’re going to fail!’
‘Thank you for you input, but I know I can do this.’
‘But, but, you’re going make a fool of yourself!’
‘That’s okay, it’s not going to be that bad. I’m going to do a draft. Then another and another. It’s going to be a long road before anyone sees this work.
And on and on…
Over time your dialogue might get softer and might be gentle. It’s all part of the #deeppractice that comes with managing your #deepdoubt.
Life’s short, be sassy.