External validation, pats & the bandaid effect

I  always viewed

[until now]

my need for external validation a negative trait

 because it kept me seeking, searching, striving, trying for MORE external validation.

Like a puppy seeking a pat on the head,


"good girl, good girl".

I'm sure you can relate to that right?

In this sense, it isn't really a positive trait because it keeps me in that cycle of


grasping outwards


[away from self]

People pleasing. 






Recently I've experienced a large amount of

unasked for,

un-strived for,

unsought after external validation.

[And yes my ego bathes in this like that puppy getting a tummy rub all day long...]  


BUT, this kind of external validation has made me


grasp inwards


[toward my self] 


This kind of external validation

[the kind I'm not solely relying on for my sense of self-love and acceptance...]

has actually boosted my overall sense of self 

It's given me greater perspective and simultaneously greater self-acceptance. 


External validation has acted like a bandaid. 


Allowing my wounds to heal beneath the plastic and gauze. 


Allowing my ego to patch itself up as only the body knows how. 


All external validation isn't negative. 


It's about our perspective on it. 

Does it make you grasp inwards? 

To become more of yourself? 


If it does? Then leave the bandaid on and ride it out. 





Katrina Hahling